In Pictures: Steve Ballmer's retirement plans

Now that Satya Nadella has been named CEO at Microsoft, now-retired CEO Steve Ballmer can start the next stage of his life. Like most retirees, rest and relaxation can only last so long. Here are some ideas for what Ballmer can do in his retirement.
Motivational speaker who lives in a van down by the river.
Meditating buddha to relax.
Wal-Mart greeter. That is the store chain where he plucked COO Kevin Turner from.
Politician. Just don't use the phrase, "I am not a crook." It has already been taken.
Backup singer to Miley Cyrus.
Spokesperson for Right Guard's "Never let them see you sweat".
In following in Bill Gates' footsteps, guest star on the Simpsons.
Return to hometown in Michigan as a car salesman.
Does smartphone commercials to show he did not miss the smartphone boat while CEO of Microsoft.
Buys a professional sports team to emulate Paul Allen.
Organize an Addams Family reunion in which he could play Uncle Fester.