Job hunters, beware: sure, IT recruiters are tripping over themselves to sign you. But you still can get burned. Recruiters have been known to spin a yarn or two. Offers, ads and promises can be misleading.
For example, how could anyone know that "we offer telecommuting" really means "only on weekends"?
The right resume and a stylish suit just aren't enough anymore. You need advice. You need help. Whether you're a seasoned veteran or real-world rookie, we can show you how to read between the lines to protect yourself from the prospective employer who guarantees you'll be "vested" from day one, meaning you can wear only three-piece suits.
So at your next interview, listen closely, especially when they say:
"You'll find working closely with three to four other enterprise resource planning experts really promotes teamwork (especially when you're all crammed into the same cubicle)"""Talk about flexible hours! You can work 8 to 4, 4 to midnight, or midnight to 8 (but you have to choose two out of three)."
"Our salaries remain well above industry averages (well, above some industry averages, if you include the fast-food industry and the ever-popular opportunities associated with stitching women's garments in some not-too-closely regulated countries)."
"We guarantee salary reviews at least twice a year (we'll let you know which year)."
"We offer the most comprehensive computer-based training in the industry (which means you have to do it at home in your spare time -- as if you're going to have any)."
"Even as manager of IT operations, you'll get to work with a half-dozen different executives each year (because the CIO usually lasts about two months around here)."
"You'll get your hands dirty working on state-of-the-art technology (it was state of the art -- back in 1975)."
"Every employee is eligible for generous bonuses based on performance (of our stock, which is currently falling faster than snow in Siberia)."
"Opportunity abounds for fast promotion and growth (because anyone with half a brain left months ago)."
"How does 20 days of holidays sound? And we insist you take every one of them (on Saturdays)."
"You want responsibility? Our analysts support three to four different production applications and hundreds of end users in their first year alone (and we do mean alone')."
"Don't forget that our downtown location is easily accessible to the suburbs, the beach or the mountains (by phone, fax or modem)."
"A job offer like this is good for only three days (because then it will stink for about three years)."
"We'd be remiss if we didn't mention our responsive sign-on bonus (our response time is so bad, it's a bonus if you ever sign on)."
"Sick pay, medical, dental, stock options, an employer-subsidised cafeteria and free on-site day care are just a part of your compensation package (which, when compared with your salary, will seem like a really big part)."
"Learn from the experts and pick up some of the latest project management methodologies (from some of the latest projects)."
"Honest, I can't think of a better place to work (because if there was, I'd be the first one outta here)!"
