Dead or Alive: Paradise

The high-kicking ladies of Tecmo's busty, butt-whuppin' fighting game franchise make their PSP debut in Dead or Alive: Paradise, but their latest outing forgoes their usual fisticuffs in favor of frolicking on a tropical island. Much like Dead or Alive: Extreme Beach Volleyball and its sequel, Paradise exists almost solely as an excuse for the lovely ladies to show off their physics-defying polygons and act like bimbos.

In fact, reviewing it as an actual game almost seems unfair, as it's more like -- and probably would have been better as -- an iPhone App to supplement the DoA games, than a full-priced PSP entry. Sure, there are "games", but they're hardly more than mini distractions acting primarily as platforms for pervy boob-ogling. A shallow volleyball game, "pool hopping", which sees the shapely she-fighters jumping -- and jiggling -- over floating platforms, and a few casino games are available. But none are especially engaging or worth your time.

You can also flirt with the girls by giving them gifts, or fulfill your Peeping Tom fantasies by photographing them from afar while they attempt to titillate by doing subtle things like, you know, bending over and sucking on popsicles. Aside from some occasionally creepy character renders and the expected over-the-top breast physics, the girls look pretty good and should satisfy the most sexually frustrated adolescent DoA fans.

Paradise has taken a lot of flak from the gaming press for its exploitative sexual nature and lack of quality gameplay. But come on, is anyone really surprised by this? Tecmo essentially marketed it as a masturbation tool. It certainly is not a good game, but it is what it is. Most should pass on this one, but if your swimsuit area is specifically turned on by the scantily-clad ladies of DoA, then Paradise's brand of portable soft-porn may just do it for you.